In honor of Valentines Day, I thought I’d post a little something about relationships. I am by no means a relationship expert. Mr. Sthole and I have only been married for 10 years. But here are some things (from lifehack.org) that I have found to be true.
lifehack.org
1. Nagging Too Much
Many studies have pointed to nagging as being the number one factor that makes men dissatisfied with their relationships. Don’t nag your partner. Remember that your partner doesn’t have to do things according to your timeline and nagging will only make the situation worse.
2. Not Taking Care of Yourself
You aren’t going to be a good partner unless you take care of yourself. The best partners are people who care for their emotional, physical, and spiritual health. Take care of yourself so you can give to your relationship.
3. Taking Your Partner for Granted
The longer you’ve been together the easier it can be to take your partner for granted. Take time to appreciate your partner every day so that you don’t overlook how fortunate you are.
4. Half-Listening
It can be easy to nod your head or say you agree to something without ever really hearing what your partner said. Half-listening to what your partner is one of those relationship habits that can lead to a lot of problems. Work on your communication so you can truly listen to what your partner has to say.
5. Avoiding Discussions About Problems
Ignoring problems won’t make them disappear. In fact, many problems get worse when you don’t address them. Don’t avoid your relationship problems. Instead, be willing to tackle them in an adult manner.
6. Not Being Assertive
Pretending to agree with your partner when you don’t isn’t healthy. It can lead to anger and resentment over time. Speak up and share your feelings in a respectful manner.
7. Testing Your Partner’s Loyalty
Don’t test your partner’s loyalty. It will likely backfire over time. Instead, focus on your own loyalty toward your partner.
8. Complaining About Your Partner
Don’t call your mother or your best friend to complain about your partner. If you are upset or don’t like your partner’s behavior, talk to your partner directly.
9. Not Balancing Friend and Family Time
Spending time with friends and family is part of being a well-balanced person. However, if you spend too much time with others, you could neglect your relationship. Strive to find just the right balance and it will help keep your relationship fresh and exciting.
10. Using the Silent Treatment
The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive tactic that can harm your relationship. It is often about control and not about trying to calm down. Learn how to address your issues in a more productive manner.
11. Taking Teasing Too Far
Although a little teasing can lead to a good laugh, taking teasing too far can damage the relationship. Don’t embarrass your partner in front of others or continue to tease when your partner asks you to stop.
12. Telling “White Lies”
One of the worst relationship habits is lying. Even those little white lies can seriously damage your relationship. Whether you aren’t honest about how much you spent on a shopping trip or where you went last, it can destroy the relationship.
13. Focusing on Your Happiness Only
Too often, people focus on what they’re gaining from the relationship rather than focusing on what they’re giving. Whether you’re happy or not, put effort into making your partner happy.
14. Keeping Score
Don’t keep score about who earned what or whose turn it is next. Instead, focus on working together as a team to do what’s best for the relationship.
15. Making a Scene in Public
Throwing a fit at a restaurant, yelling on the sidewalk, or exhibiting the silent treatment at a friend’s party can all be very damaging to the relationship. Avoid making a scene in public. Instead, keep your private business just between the two of you.
Don’t try to tackle these habits all at once, you’ll get discouraged and give up all together. Instead focus on one or two at a time. Relationships aren’t sprints, they’re marathons that take training and determination. You may not fix your issues over night, but believe me, your partner will notice when you’re making an effort!
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